“Waiting”

waiting

 

And there are so many things
I really should do
but to sit here
in this dark room
and write
but—
i won’t.

I don’t want to let this moment pass, to go
away
without letting it out,
spilling it on the page

and I’ll sit here
trying to be calm
but inside
my guts are twisting up

I want to leave and drive and
I have to wait here
tormented

I hear the bell outside
and awakened I am there
looking out the half-covered window
to stop
and listen

waiting, waiting, waiting
I hate to be idle—
one hour more and escape is near

 

 

 

photo credit: Gabriela Camerotti <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/50417132@N00/4688099733″>You were like a wishing well</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

the place

 

road_dreamin my heart
there is a place
that dreams
i hold it there
so tightly
i never waver—
in the times
i feel weak
i cling to it
i cling to the place
where my dreams
still
have life
i inhale,
breathe that place deep
into my lungs
i let it permeate my every pore
swell heavy in my spirit
bring joy into my heavy heart
thump
thump
pulse
pulse
surging
spirit, soul, collide
my dream comes alive once more

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/29832163@N07/26554078153″>Joshua Tree 05/2016</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

 

Anew

sprout

I will.
Let the wind
whirl herself,
blow against my cheek—
lift me up and out;
take these
thoughts,
the burdens within,
ease them
ease me,
let the rain wash upon me—
let it trickle down my nose,
drip to my chin
lay soft upon my chest
soak deep inside
and
rinse the stain of heartache
from my soul
let the snow
fall down heavy
cleanse and purify,
lift this soil from my body
no longer will it linger,
this loop of lackluster life
sprout up!
spring forth anew!
a new
me
forgotten of you

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/96051441@N00/26595140235″></a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

“Absorbing You”

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I want you to come back
I want you here
How I wish I would have
Spent more time
Spent more of my energy
absorbing you
Your kind heart
That hospital
All those times
The fear, knowing you were there
How I wish you were here
Your smile
That one missing tooth
creating the funny gap
So endearing
Just you, Grannie
Your heart is my heart
You live on inside of me
Every day
I want you here
I know you can’t be
I know you had to go
I know—

Still.
I miss you.
I love you.

“Break Through”

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In the midst of my ache,
my hurt,
my fear,
I watched as many
ran for help—
watched all the souls
hurting too
we were the same;
sometimes
I allow myself
to wallow,
feel sorry for myself,
forget that so many others
have far fewer blessings, and
far more burdens
While I cannot always control my feelings,
I can choose my actions;
I can spend more time
helping those around me;
I can spend more time
focusing on the wonder of life
Many times I have realized
life is all about moments—
Some are exceptional;
they steal our breath away
and we pray they will never end;
sometimes we take a photograph
capturing that perfect moment,
as if to hold on to it forever
Others we pray we make it through;
we literally tell ourselves, “this is a moment;
I just need to get to the next one, and maybe
the pain won’t feast on me in that moment
Maybe my worries will be less,
or my desperation will weaken its grip;
maybe in that next moment,
I will find strength,”
and then, that moment moves by
just like the breeze
never seen, but felt—
the moment moves effortlessly to the next;
you feel it, and all at once,
you find a way to
break through…

photo credit: Løkken panoramica. via photopin (license)

“Let it Go”

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I wish I knew the way
to just let it all go—
Relax.
Believe.
Trust.
Scattered in my brain
Ache in my heart
Help me to be more like You.
Remind me that I have Your Mind
and Your Spirit
Walk with me Lord
Oh, how tired I am
I need You so
I know that You love me,
but I feel like I am failing
I am so scared
Please draw near to me

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/36093266@N06/6281951891″>Secrets of Nikko 日光市</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

“My Faith Will Abide”

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In the stillness,
I think all things
I wonder and hope;
I believe that, the path,
once I choose,
will lead me right where
I need to be
Yet—
I am fearful.
They say to just “decide.”
Decide to move on
Forward.
Ahead.
Towards.
Never stop.
I am still afraid.
Yet—
My heart beats so loud
Like a drum erupting inside my chest
My ribs, they push out forward
Nearly to the point of breaking
All to allow room for the
fullness.
Thump. Thump.
Move.
Decide.
Choose.
And so I do.
The fear will subside.
My faith will abide.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/11574896@N03/3920209837″>grow and stretch</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

“Illumination”

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Is it a wonder why I wander
around here looking for you?
I guess I thought I might
have seen a sign.
It flashed for just that one
moment.
My breath danced in the frigid air before me
I exhaled deeply,
smiled a sheepish grin,
and with pouted pink lips,
pulled my fingertips to my mouth
and pretended
to smoke.
The juke box bellowed
one sad tune after another.
Soft sexy melodies pushed their way
through the doors;
I leaned back and let them wrap me up
One more exhale and “I’m out.”
Time to bring these bones to life.
Shattered hearts filled the bar stools
and cheap cologne reeked into the stale air
The lights illuminated the dust
and faces with eagerness
rushed and smiled and eyes lowered then lifted
to see
beauty
there.
Love doesn’t live here,
illusions of us do.

Made Just for Me

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Swirling inside my heart

I find that there is a love so true for you

You-the one I have yet to meet

I dream of you and how God perfected you just for me

Here I am still toiling away

Wondering where I fit in this world

I wonder where you are in this huge

Expanse of space

And are you too thinking of me—

I ponder on

The craftsmanship of God’s hands, the time

He took when artfully He

Created the beauty that is your soul

I am still being molded and shaped

I am so imperfect

Yet I long for the day when God will

Bring your heart close to mine

Oh that I could love you

That I could finally look upon the eyes of the one

God made just for me

 photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/chiarashine/4045204750/”>chiarashine</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

“Rhythm of the trees”

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Into the night, we run

Souls bursting

Chests heaving

In the quiet

In the wonder of this space

I am free

The trees let their branches dance wildly

I pick up on their magical dance

And match their rhythm

Warm winds and rain tickle my face

Smiles are meant for this

photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/ant1_g/6913508663/”>Ant1_G</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;